Spiderwebs
by QueenKingrid
Summary: John deals with the death of his wife while trying to raise his sons.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

John watched the funeral in a dark, fuzzy haze. Someone was saying something and he couldn't understand what because the words were coming into his ears and then leaving so fast he couldn't get a chance to figure them out.

He felt a sudden wave of nausea overtake him and he tried to concentrate on keeping it in check and for some reason that was taking almost everything in him. He wrapped his arms around his body because he suddenly felt cold.

Was it cold in here or was it just him he wondered and he couldn't tell. Shaking his head to clear the webs he tried once again to concentrate on what the speaker at the front was saying about his dead wife and none of it made any sense not the death, not his being here none of it. His breaths were beginning to be harder to take.

His lungs felt as if they were going to explode he could feel the tears coming and he couldn't stop them. His eyes drifted closed and then snapped back open. He felt like he was missing something/ forgetting about something and it wasn't Mary she was dead and he knew that. It was something else and he couldn't figure out what. His eyes were becoming too heavy and they closed again and he let them as he just sat dazed while the memory overtook him.

He could hear her laughter and it was like music to his ears. And he could see her face as she walked towards him with the sun shinning brightly around her and the light of the sun making her hair seem lighter. It was as if she was glowing.

Her eyes they were the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen and they shinned bright in that familiar hazel, green with flecks of gold in them. His son had those eyes and he saw her in him every time he looked at him. Dean had those eyes. Dean he thought again and Sammy he remembered. Dean and Sammy.

That was it that was what was missing he couldn't feel or see or hear his kids nearby. Where were they? And at that very moment he realized that he did not know. He felt his eyes pop open in a panicked glaze. He did not know where his kids were and he needed them. To keep them safe was the only thing left that he had to do.

"Dean" he whispered and he felt a hand rub his back in comforting circles but he could not hear what the person was saying and he still did not know where his son was. He stood with a wobbled unsteady and headed toward the center of the isle as his voice a voice he did not even recognize yelled for his sons.

Gasps erupted from the people in the church. And Susan squeezed Dean and Sammy her grandchildren closer to her body. And John all but collapsed as he felt himself being ushered from the church.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Dean"… "Dean" Susan frowned. The child was still being unresponsive and he had not said one single word since the incident. Dean had just sat there staring in a daze allowing him self to be lead by others. To Susan it was like he was not even there.

Dean had not even noticed his father break down this morning. His teary little hazel green eyes just stared at the person speaking and his little body did not even flinch when his uncles dragged his father kicking and screaming out of the church.

And now, the funeral was over and the family was all sitting around her house celebrating a life whose presence all but radiated and was ended too soon. And remembering a woman her daughter whose fire had been extinguished too fast and it all seemed just a little bit too senile.

Susan still had not really come to terms with the fact that her youngest child was gone and with her all of the goodness and light in the small family. Her baby was no longer living and she just couldn't understand that fact. But, she could not sink in the hole that Mary's death brought along with it because if she did than she did not think that she would ever be able to come up. She would just drown and be worst off than John was right now.

John was a complete mess. After being carried out of the services by his brothers, He was brought back to the limousine where he'd sat through the burial. And after the burial he'd gone straight to the room that he'd been staying in since Mary's death and had not come out since. That had been almost three hours ago.

No, Susan thought she could not become like John. She had to keep it together for her grandsons because they needed someone to take care of them and if their father was in no condition to do it than Susan would have to.

"Dean" she whispered again as she sat down beside the now quiet little boy. "Are you hungry" she asked softly. She placed a plate of food down on a plate in front of him and he did not even glance at it.

Susan felt tears come to her eyes as the once vibrant, colorful brilliant child sat still and unmoving as she took some dressing on a spoon and brought it to his mouth. He opened his mouth and chewed but otherwise he did not move. And Susan realized that she was feeding her four year old grandson like a baby.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Later that night John found himself laying in the living room of Susan's house, in the dark with his two little boys. Sammy was sound asleep on his chest and Dean was snuggled up on his side eyes very much open but quiet.

"Don't worry Deano" John whispered to his son as he ran his hands lightly through the boys' blond hair. Dean remained silent as John continued to speak.

"Something murdered your mommy but I'd never let it get you" John said softly and the little boys only response was to snuggle closer to his father.

"I'll find a way to protect you both" John added after a beat He moved his head back and forth softly to clear the constant spider webs that threatened to once again overtake him the way it had at the service that morning. He concentrated on where he was and who he was with as memories tried to make there way into his head and he managed to stop them.

"I promise… I'll find out what killed her and I'll protect you" he said his voice thick and soft with emotion. He felt Deans arms tighten around him around him. And he watched his son until his confused eyes shut and his breath deepened in sleep and then John allowed his own eyes to shut as sleep overtook him.

Susan stood in the door of her living room. She could not believe what she just heard John telling those boys. They already had enough to deal with; they did not need to hear those barbaric accusations of their mother being murdered when she'd died in an accidental house fire.

John was losing it and he did not seem as if he'd be coming back from where his crazy mind had taken him anytime soon. He was scaring Dean and the boy was already messed up enough with the whole not speaking. What was he trying to do make the child shut down completely?

No Susan thought to herself. She was not going to let John damage that child anymore than he already was. She would most defiantly have to speak with him in the morning about what exactly he'd been telling those boys.

John walked into the kitchen and over toward the coffee pot. He fetched a mug from the overhead cabinet, rinsed it out and poured the steaming hot coffee into it before taking a sip. He winced at the hotness of the beverage as it burned its way down his throat.

Then he walked across the kitchen and seated himself across from Susan at the table.

"Where are the kids" Susan asked as soon as John's ass hit the seat.

John flinched a bit at her tone and Susan continued her stare at the table.

"I put them in my bed this morning after they fell asleep with me on the sofa last night" he explained softly. Susan nodded and then tapped her fingers lightly on the table. It reminded John of Mary. She did that when she had something to say and did not know how to say it.

"I heard what you said to Dean last night" Susan began and there it was. She'd been eavesdropping on a private conversation between him and his son. John sat quietly and did not respond so Susan continued.

"Mary's death was an accident John, and you know that. It was a very unfortunate accident but an accident none the less. How could you tell that kid something murdered his mother. You surely freighted him half to death." Susan said angrily. Her voice was low but fierce. She could just kill him for what he was doing to Mary's boys.

John frowned and than rolled his eyes. Nobody believed him. He told the firemen what he saw, the police, and any body who would listen. People thought he was crazy. They said he was scared and his mind created the whole incident. But he knew what he'd seen.

"Something did kill his mother I saw it. She was pinned to the ceiling and then she burst into flames right there in Sammy's room. I saw it with my own two eyes" John said he was beginning to get annoyed she was looking at him like he was crazy. He was not crazy damit.

Susan laughed bitterly. She could not believe this. "You are crazy!" she said "You're crazy and you are unfit to be anywhere near my daughter's sons. I won't allow you to preach such nonsense to them. Such lies" She said as she stood from the chair. She was now looking down on John.

"They are my sons too" John said his voice low and soft "and I will do what I want with them. And… I want them to know the truth" he continued as he stood. He was now standing over Susan. She was a small woman.

Susan walked up to him taking the challenge. She was not scared of him and she was determined to save those boys. "I told Mary she could do better. When she came to me and said that she was marrying you I said it. I said "You can do so much better baby" and she just would not listen to me. She should have because you are crazy and you were no good for her….Maybe she would be alive today if she had taken my advice" She said.

The word made john stumble back a bit. They hurt. It was like being sliced open with a knife. He loved Mary more than life itself. "I loved her" he said. His voice was a whisper and he turned around walking toward the door " I loved her" Susan heard him say again and again until the front door slammed shut and she was left in the kitchen along.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

John's brother Paul walked into the bar and let out a breath of relief at seeing his little brother "Thought that I'd find you here Johnny" he said softly as he eased on to a stool beside his brother.

"Yeah, Well I have always been predictable let you tell it" John slurred. He then downed another drink shot before motioning to the bartender for another. Paul frowned at his brother. He was doing worse than he'd thought.

"Susan called me… she said that you'd gotten upset with her and than you left."

Paul told John. "She was worried she thought that you might be getting into something you had no business getting into"

John smirked" So she sent you, my night in shinning armor to come and rescue me" he said taking another sip from his drink "It is none of her dame business What I do" John all but yelled his voice cold and hard even with the slight slur.

Paul placed his hand on His brother's shoulder and felt John tense beneath his fingers.

"Well' Paul said softly "it became her business when you left your two small sons with her, you remember the same sons who just lost their mother"

John frowned taking an angered breath. He shrugged his shoulder from Paul grip and than turned to face him. "I don't give a flying fuck what Susan thinks and or says" He said. His voice now surprisingly smooth, the slur no longer evident.

John took a deep breath and turned back toward the bar. He placed his head down as he rested it against the bar. "It'd be better if they stayed with Susan anyway, they'd be better off, better taken care of and safer." John said "Sometimes I can't… I can't stand to see them sometimes" he whispered and he had tears shinning in his eyes. Tears that he was refusing to let fall.

Paul looked at his brother a bit taken aback by what he'd just revealed "Don't …come on buddy don't be ridiculous. You love those boys more than life itself. I know that you do because I've seen you with them." Paul said

His brother was scaring him. He was allowing Mary's death to completely overtake him and if John thought that Paul was just going to allow him to give up and leave those boys (a mistake that John would one day hate himself for), he could just forget it. Dean and Sammy were his nephews and Paul was going to make sure that they had their father in their lives if it was the last thing he did.

Paul rubbed comforting circles on his non responsive brothers back

"You Johnny boy are going to have to find a way to get over this and be there for those boys because I'm not letting you walk away" Paul whispered into Johnny's ears. He removed the empty glass from Johns tight grasp and than hefted him up from the stool.

"Come on Johnny. You've had enough" Paul said


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Laughter filled the house. And john immersed himself in the warmth of it. Looking around John realized that he was in his son's room and he smiled to himself as he realized that his oldest son was running towards him with a smile on his face. He picked up the kid and held him close to his chest, this felt right.

And Mary was there and she was walking towards him with Sammy in her arms, a smile on her face. This was right. This was his life and he felt at peace, and at home. He was just about to wrap his arms around he wife when he noticed how warm she was and than how her face was scrunched up in pain.

She was suddenly on fire again and this time she had Sammy in her arms. John was watching both his wife and youngest son burn to death right in front of him and he was powerless to stop it.

John woke up in a panic. He was sweating, he felt nauseaus his breaths were coming in too fast pants. He concentrated on slowing his breaths while looking out into the darkness of the room while he tried to figure out where he was.

"I bet you'll think twice before you indulge yourself in that kind of drinking again" Paul's voice said from across the room. He'd been sitting in a chair in the dark watching his brother as he slept off the liquor. John exhaled, he really did not need this right now and he really did not feel like dealing with Paul's bullshit.

Paul sighed and edged his way forward in his seat. "Susan was upset when I brought you here passed out" He told John who started to stand up until he realized that the action only made the nausea worse...

"I feel like shit" John commented his voice raspy and thick. Paul laughed a sarcastic laugh "and you should… you were at that bar drinking like a god dammed fish. Whose to say that you wouldn't still be drinking if I hadn't come to drag your ass out of there." he responded.

John raised his hand in a slow over dramatically fashioned way signally stop "Don't Paul just don't" he begged his voice was pleading. He wasn't in the mood for another lecture from his know it all brother.

"What about your boys huh?" Paul asked ignoring John's plea for peace." they don't deserve this Johnny they don't deserve to lose their father too"

John sat up straighter. Paul could be so full of shit when he wanted to be "They have not lost me Paul I'm still here!" John responded. Paul stood up angrily as he made his way over towards his brother. Now he was right in johns face. He kneeled down in front of him and pulled John closer." Only because I brought you back. Tell me you were not thinking about walking away! Paul demanded

And John gave no immediate response. "What were you going to do?" he asked his now silent brother "abandon your kids, take up residence at the bar, and stop living. Mary would turn over in her grave if she could see you now!" Paul said

John pulled away from him making a space where there was none. "Johnny talk to me please" he begged "I mean I know that we are not a talking family but maybe that's what you need someone to talk to. So, talk tell me what's going on in that stone head of yours.

John turned to his brother "I don't know" he said softly. "I feel… I feel like I won't be able to save them if something else happens and I just… I can't lose someone else. I wouldn't be able to take it. It hurts too much" John admitted

"What happened to Mary was an accident" Paul said "they happen there was nothing you could have done John"

John shook his head "You don't understand" he said softly "something evil killed my wife... something dark and it burned her on the ceiling and I saw it with my own two eyes" Paul sighed John was really losing it. What he was saying was impossible. How would Mary have even gotten on the ceiling in the first place?

"You don't believe me?' John asked and when Paul didn't respond he knew the answer.

"Get out!" he screamed "Just get out!"

"Johnny… just calm down" Paul responded trying to settle his brother with words.

"I tell you something evil killed my wife and you give me that look. You think I'm crazy. So, just get out!" John yelled again.

Paul looked at John and shook his head. "If that's what you want" he said before exiting the room leaving John alone with his crazy ideas.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Susan walked towards the boy's room to find John seated in the middle of the room in an old rocking chair watching Dean sleep as he cuddled a very much awake Sammy in his arms.

"What are you doing up?" Susan asked as she walked away from the doorway and further into the room. John smiled a little to himself as he watched Sammy wiggle in his arms.

"Sammy was crying so... I thought I'd check on him" John responded and Susan smirked.

"Well that's a first" she responded sarcasm dripping from her voice as she walked further into the room closer to where John was seated.

She reached her arms out for the baby, but John shook his head no

"I've got him" he whispered into the dark room. Susan frowned. John's response was a little unexpected and unsettling to say the least, after all she had been the one taking care of the kids since Mary died.

"Are you sure?" she asked " because Sammy going to need to have his diaper changed soon and after that he's going to want a bottle before he even thinks about going back to sleep" she responded

"I got him" John said again his voice tense showing that he was clearly becoming a little frustrated. Susan was really starting to get on his nerves. She was acting like he was some kind stupid fool. She just walked in and started acting like he did not even know how to take care of his two boys when he and Mary had been doing it on their own for four years.

Susan turned towards the bed where Dean was sleeping. The boy had just started to toss and turn in his sleep; he was becoming a little uneasy while sensing the presence of so many people in the room.

"He has nightmares" she told John softly while running her hand softly through the boys thick blond hair (It remanded her so much of Mary's).

"He's been having them almost every night but he won't talk about them, I only know because I hear him whimper sometimes at night and it wakes me up"

John frowned he did not know that fact about his own son. As if on queue Dean begin to whimper and John felt his body tense a bit. "Its okay son "he said softly and Dean continued to move a bit in his sleep before finally settling down.

"I got them" John said again and this time he could not tell if he was talking to himself or to Susan. Susan nodded and then headed for the door before pausing and then staying still for a few seconds as if in a deep thought

"I'm sorry about yesterday.. What I said" She finally Whispered to John and then hurriedly left the room almost running. John remained silent and watched her go.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"So Deano!" John said "What do you want for breakfast buddy? You can have pancakes, cereal, fruit whatever you want." Dean did not respond but instead just stared down blankly at the table.

"Come on son…talk to me" John pleaded to no avail. "We can even go out to breakfast if you want. McDonalds…you like those sausage biscuits remember" he asked the little boy who did not seem to have even heard him. Dean was still silent and John was beginning to get a little aggravated.

John exhaled and took deep calming breaths to control his temper. This was beginning to be too much. Dean needed to start back talking soon.

"Talk to me \Dean" he demanded again. His voice was soft, but the little boy flinched at the request none the less yet still did not say a word.

"He won't speak to you John" Susan said as she entered the kitchen. She walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a bright blue bowl, she then walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of milk before fetching the cereal box that was on top of the fridge. She walked over to the table and placed the bowl down in front of Dean and proceeded to prepare a bowl of his favorite cereal.

She filled the bowl halfway and turned back to look up at John "but he likes a bowl of cornflakes in the morning and a spoonful of sugar" she said as she scoped a spoonful of sugar from the sugar bowl and put it in Deans cereal and Dean silently begin to eat.

"And you buddy' John said softly while looking at Dean. "Couldn't just tell me that you wanted cereal." Dean did not respond just kept on eating his cereal.

Susan frowned Dean was not doing well and she had wanted to discuss this with John for a while now but before there had never been a good time.

"Look John" she said softly and the man looked up from his on going stare at his son and gave her his full attention.

" I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and her son in law died recently in a car accident…anyway, I was telling her about Deans situation and she said that her grandson responded to his fathers death in a very similar manner…She uh, she gave me the number to this therapist that she used. She said he was really good."

John shook his head. He wasn't really the therapist type" "No Shrinks" he responded. His voice was soft but still held a non nonsense tone.

Susan walked closer to John and placed her hands on his shoulder. Well…Dean, Dean is not doing so well and I don't know what else to do so…"

John shook his head no again. , then looked down at his little boy. "No, no shrinks. Dean will be fine he just needs a little time to adjust" he said.

That was it. His son would be fine as soon as he got use to the fact that he mother was gone now for good. "He'll be fine" John said again and ran his hands softly through he's son's hair.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"What are you doing here" John asked Paul. He had spotted him walking up to the house from his position on the swing chair on Susan front porch

"I came to see you" Paul responded as he took a seat next to Dean who was next to his father's feet looking out at nothing.

"Humm" John responded as he rearranged Sammy on his lap.

"I'm sorry about the way that we left things the other night and I… I just:" Paul was interrupted in mid sentence by John

"Do you believe me?" John asked. He seemed somber or maybe it was more resolved as he played with the baby's small hand and the baby let him.

"I believe that you believe" Paul said. And there he was sitting there looking all smug giving John that look again and john chuckled. "That's cute Pauly…you uh…you placate me, humor me and all the while you'll go around and tell everyone I'm crazy right. You'll tell them John fell off his rocker Right?" he asked calmly and Paul shook his head.

"It is not like that Johnny... I would" Paul started only to be interrupted again

"Then what is it like … I promise Pauly…you can tell me. Because right now" John said shaking his head softly "besides my sons who are only babies you are all that I have and if you don't believe me I'll be willing to forget that fact…if that's what it takes"

"What are you talking about Johnny…? If that's what it takes to do what?" Paul asked

John cleared his throat and swallwed "If that's what it takes for me to find Marys killer I will do it… I will forget that I ever knew you and move on. Because you know me Pauly. You should trust me shit, you practically helped raise me after Dad died And because I have never ever given you reason to doubt me so... if you don't believe in me anymore than I don't believe in us" John said his voice soft and calm almost too calm in fact Paul had never really ever heard him that calm before.

"John you can't do that!" Paul said shaking his head his raised voice was loud enough that it caused Dean to flinch away "Don't scream he does not like loud noises" John said softly causing Paul to smirk.

"About that" Paul said "I talked to Susan"

"No Shrinks" John said automatically. He than placed his hand on Deans shoulder and the boy scooted back and away from Paul almost, he was now almost sitting on John's feet.

"John maybe she's right... I mean look at the kid. That is not normal" Paul said pointing a finger at the silent dazed child who sat at John's feet

"And there you go again taking some one else's side over mine" John replied. He really could not believe this. He'd was not playing he'd be willing to distance himself from Paul if he had to.

"I never thought it would come to this Paul. but I really do not need this shit right now especially not from you…I have a lot of work to do and I have two kids to raise…on my own so, I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave"

Paul was shocked. He and John had never been through anything like this before. They were usually always willing to work it out and try to compromise. But, now John was saying back me up or leave and he just could not do that because he really did think that John was not making the right decisions in regards to the boys. And, he could not back that up no matter how much he loved his brother.

"Come on Johnny. Don't do this… Please" Paul pleaded and John did not respond and after a long moment of silence Paul got up from the porch and walked away. He had tried. He really did.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"What are you doing?" Susan asked. She had just walked into Sammy and Dean's room to find John haphazardly throwing the kids meager possessions into a black duffel bag.

John paused and turned around to look at Susan who was still standing in the door. "What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked and Susan could not help the frown that appeared on her face. Looked like he was running away with her grandkids.

"Looks like your packing" she responded "where are you going?"

John closed his eyes for a second hoping that Susan would just go away but, when he opened there she was still there he let out a deep breath and turned so that now he was fully facing the woman.

"We…That is my children and I are moving on" John replied as he turned back to the duffel bag, zipped it quickly and than picked it up. Susan walked further into the room a little closer to where John was standing "Moving on to what?' She asked.

She was scared. She could feel it, her grandkids the only part of Mary that she had left just slipping away. She felt as if she was suffocating. John moved around the now frozen Susan and headed towards the door

"Wait... Wait! John please don't do this" Susan begged as John starting walking again without saying a word. Susan walked behind him following him through the house.

She could feel the tears begin to seep from her eyes as she felt her legs follow him out to the car. She watched almost in a daze as he threw the duffel bag into the trunk of the car and then headed back into the house to get the boys.

John looked back at Susan and could not help but feel a little bit guilty for taking the boys away from her but, the way he saw it, it was the only choice he had really. Susan was trying to help but she was only making it worse, doubting him, trying to control the way he dealt with the boys it was all just too much and he just needed to get away.

"I'm sorry Susan" John said softly as he lifted the sleeping Sammy into his arms. He reached his hand out towards Dean who had been sitting besides Sammy on the bed just watching the events unfold. "Come on buddy" he told the child softly and Dean reached out to grab his hand getting up from the bed. They than headed for the door.

"John … I'll call the police… you can't …you can't do this!" Susan stammered "you can't just take them away …Please" she cried out. She was near hysterical.

John was silent as he strapped both boys into their respective car seats in the back of the car. He then closed the door and got into the drivers seat. He watched Susan for a moment as she wrung her hands "I'm Sorry" he said again. (This time more to himself) before shifting the gear and pulling off.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

John pulled up to a hotel somewhere outside of Lawrence sometimes after midnight He'd driven all day and had only stopped once to get something for to eat and to let Dean use the restroom and change Sammy's diaper.

He paid for a room with two double beds and then proceeded to carry both sleeping boys into the room laying them side by side on the bed farthest from the door.

He watched them mesmerized at the way the two small bodies seemed to reach for each other almost instinctively and then meld together with Dean curled around Sammy.

He smoothed back Deans hair and then ran a finger across Sammy's check while watching them a moment longer just to assure himself that they were all right before heading back to the car to retrieve the rest of their things.

This was right. he had his sons, he had his car and he had his mission ( to find Mary's killer) and that alone gave him hope, the hope that one day he would be able to avenge his wife murder and then move somewhere peaceful where the boys could still live the life that Mary had always wanted for them.

He could do this and he could protect his boys he had to because he had no other choice.

Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

John was awakened in the night buy a loud sudden shriek or whimper... Glancing over at the opposite bed John forced himself to sit up. He took in the sight of his boy tossing, turning, and whimpering. "The nightmare" John whispered to himself as he peeled himself from under the covers and then forced his legs over the side of the bed before moving closer to his son.

He walked the couple of steps to the bed that the boys were sharing and leaned down to touch Dean. His skin was clammy and he was shivering. John ran his hands through the Childs hair and the little boy sat up straight painting hard.

John instantly lifted the four year old from the bed and held him tightly against his chest. Sammy continued to sleep.

"It's okay" John whispered in the Childs ear as he rocked him back and forth the way that Mary did whenever the boy was scared and hysterical the way that he was now.

"Its okay I got ya," John went on whispering in to the kid's ear until Dean slowly stopped trembling.

Dean reached his arms up and wrapped them around his father's neck comforted by the feel of his father's safe arms. He felt safer. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Daddy's got ya," John told the boy as he seated himself on his own bed and watched Sammy sleep with Dean tucked into his arms.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

John woke that morning to the feeling of a child on his back, inching out of the bed he sled from underneath Dean and placed the bed covers back over him. He ran his hands through the kid's hair and the kid seemed to meld into the touch.

John stood up completely from the bed and than stretched before heading to the dink restroom that was next to the bed that Sammy was still sleeping in.

He closed the door and walked over to the sink and than took a moment to stare at his reflection in the mirror. He looked old, and tired. He turned on the faucet and ran the water and splashed some over his tired face.

What was he doing he wondered? Why was he bringing his kids into an unsafe world? He was just about turn the shower on when he heard a loud piercing angry scream coming from the bedroom.

"Sammy" he said to himself before taking off towards the bedroom. The child was kicking and crying and John exhaled before rushing over to the bed to lift the six month old into his arms. "Shhhhh" he told the child who continued to scream.

"What's wrong" John asked the baby softly as he searched the child for answers to the question of why he was so upset.

"You're wet huh" He whispered in the baby's ear who just continued to cry. John walked the baby over to the chair in the room that contained his things and searching through the bag he sighed in relief when he came up with a clean diaper.

"Okay" he assured the child as he walked back over to the bed and laid the baby down so that he could change his diaper. John looked over to the other bed and saw that Dean was awake sitting in the middle of the bed Indian style.

"Good morning champ" he said to the small boy who was watching him through sleepy eyes. The kid did not respond. John finished changing Sammy's diaper and walked him over to the bed where Dean was seated.

"Watch Sammy" he told Dean before laying Sammy on the bed against some pillows. He piled more pillows from the other bed around the kid than looked at Dean once again.

Dean was still sitting in the exact position on the bed and he was still looking at John through bleary eyes.

"Dean…Dean" John said loudly in order to make sure that he had the boys attention

Dean flinched and looked up at his father.

"Watch Sammy" John said again to the little boy who responded by shaking his head yes.

John took that as answer enough and headed into the restroom to take his morning shower.

Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

"Hello" the voice screamed form the other side of the phone. "John…John…is that you" she asked her voice sounded desperate.

"Susan" John said softly. John could hear her laugh almost hysterically "John oh my God where is the boys?" she asked "Let me speak to them. Where are they?" she was almost screaming.

"Susan I was just calling to tell you not to worry and that the boys were okay" John said

"You can not do this… I'm calling the police "she said and john flinched at the implication "Susan I…I'm…Sorry

"Your crazy is what you are and I'm getting the boys back if it's the last thing that I do" Susan yelled at him right before he hung up.

John looked back at the car where the boys were both seated. Sammy was winning he was most likely hungry (he had not eaten since earlier that morning after John had gotten out of the shower), and tired of being strapped down in the car seat.

Dean had been staring out of the window for the past hour seemingly in a daze the boy just wasn't right John could see that even though it was a fact that he was trying to ignore he could see it and he was starting to worry because his kid was not getting any better...

John walked away from the pay phone and back over to the car. He got in a drove off as fast as he could. He believed Susan when she said that she would call the police and try to take his boys from him. She was after all Mary's mother and they were alike in many ways and one of those ways was determination so he knew that she would not give up and he wanted to put as much space as he could between him and the payphone that he'd used.

Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

John arrived at the diner a little after four. Sammy had finally given up and decided to go to sleep after crying for about two hours. Dean was sitting right besides Sammy biting his nails a new habbit that he had just started.

John got out of the car and opened the door so that Dean could get out and than he walked around to the other side of the vehicle so that he could UN strap the sleeping baby. .He grabbed Dean's hand and together they entered the restaurant.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Missouri Mosley had been sitting in the small dinner almost all morning. When she woke up at six this morning it had felt as if something had been pulling her to the diner. So, she'd gotten out of bed, took a shower, dressed and hurried over to the Smokey Bones diner right outside of her hometown. She had been sitting in there ever since right by the door cause that's where her gut had told her she needed to be.

She spotted the man as soon as he walked in. He was carrying a small baby in his arms and was pulling another small boy by the hand. She watched them as they took a seat all three of them huddled together on the same side of the table. The man intrigued her she could not keep her eyes off of him. She could feel the essence of sorrow and misery surrounding him, it was so strong, and it almost took her breath away.

A waitress came over to their table and the man ordered breakfast for himself and the small boy without even bothering to ask him what he wanted and the small boy just stared off into the distance as the waitress went towards the back of the diner to put in their order.

The man looked up at her and frowned before turning his attention back to his two small kids and Missouri Mosley just had to get to know him better. She knew right than and there when she'd taken a glance at those eyes clouded with despair that he was the reason she was here in this old diner. He was the man her gifts had wanted her to save.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

John looked up as the waitress brought the plates of food over to table. John situated the baby in a more comfortable position in his lap and sat the smaller plate in front of Dean.

"Okay kiddo, do you want to try these eggs?" John asked Dean with a false happiness in his voice. The little boy looked at him and shook his head no. "Okay than how about these grits than, that was one of your first foods. You like them. Remember?" John asked the child who once again shook his head no.

John sighed. "Dean you have to eat something. We are not leaving this place until I see some food go into your mouth" he said his voice low but angry causing the young boy to flinch away from him or at least as far away as someone can get from someone whose lap they are almost sitting on.

The baby started to squirm and John could feel his patience getting shorter and shorter by the second. "Dean I said eat the food!" he whispered to the small boy who did not move but instead chose to stare at him as if he couldn't figure out what it was he was saying.

He picked up the spoon and loaded it with eggs, Dean was going to eat something if it's the last thing he did of that John Winchester was certain.

"You know…my mom always said that you could put a horse in front of a river but you can't make him drink" A soft voice said. John sat the spoon back down on the plate and looked up only to see a woman standing in front of the table with her hands on her hip.

John smirked "Is that right" he responded once again rearranging the baby. This time, he placed him over his shoulder and the baby laid his small little head against it seemingly content. "Well" he continued my dad always said "what I say goes!" and I am beginning to agree with him" John responded and the lady laughed a big bright stomach growling laugh.

"Well I guess different strokes for different folks" she said and than she seated herself at the table across from the small family. John looked at the woman and frowned. "Can I help you with something?" He asked. Missouri shook her head "I think I should be asking you that exact same question" she responded causing John to look at her perplexed.

"What in the hell are you talking about lady, you came and sat at my table. I don't even know you" he responded "And you never will with that attitude" Missouri said she frowned. "I mean I go out of my way to help a stranger and this is the thanks I get!" Missouri continued as she begins to get up from a table.

"Wait! just wait a minute. What do you mean help me?" John asked "…How … How were you going to do that" John stammered his voice shaking something was not right he just couldn't put his finger on what the problem was

"Let's just say I know what happened to your wife John Winchester. Your not special things like this happen all the time the thing is nobody talks about them."

John looked at her flabbergasted. It was as if he had been stricken with the same kind of silence that had taken Deans' words at that very moment and he just did not know what to say.

"Take my card" Missouri said as she got up from the table and slid the card in front of John "If you want to talk call me" she said before she walked away from the tale and out of the restaurant.


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry for taking so long to update! I was beginning to lose my inspiration but a new, wonderful, and exciting Season 4 of Supernatural has given it back. I want to say Thanks in advance to anyone who has taken the time out of their busy lives to read and review my story in the past as well as in the future! Your reviews are greatly appreciated and help to inspire me as well. And now Chapter 13

Chapter 13

John looked over at the boys who were watching television and then back down at the notes he was placing in his journal.

1. There was a fire,

2. Mary was on the ceiling bleeding before she burst into flames.

3. The fire took place in Sammy's room

John stopped writing his eyes once again looking at the boys. He exhaled a sigh of relief when he saw that both were still safe, lying on the hotel floor eyes glued to whatever cartoon they were watching. Exhaling deeply John closed his journal and removed the card from his pocket.

"Missouri Mosley" he whispered to himself.

He looked at the boys once more to make sure that they were still okay before picking up the phone and dialing the number.

John pulled up in front of the house. After speaking with Missouri they had agreed to meet at her housed in order to discuss what he had seen that night. John hopped out of the car and unstrapped both boys before heading towards the house.

Before he could even get to the door, the door swung open and a smiling Missouri greeted him and his two boys on the front steps.

"Hey" she said smiling sweetly at Dean. The young boy flinched and moved to stand hidden behind his father's leg. John grabbed the boys arm softly and pulled him back from his safety spot and out into the open.

"Welcome" Missouri said to John as she extended her hand. John grabbed her hand to shake it and suddenly she squirmed back seemingly overcome with pain.

"Oh my God" She whispered leaning onto the side of her front door "This is worse than I thought, there is a…a evil that surround you and your boys"

John frowned as Missouri went on "I can go back into your house and try to find more information but from what I can tell it would be better if you left Kansas and never returned"

John closed his eyes and looked back down at his sons

"What do you mean I don't understand" He asked. Missouri put her hand on his shoulder and lead the three males into her house. John placed Sammy down on the sofa before taking a seat besides the boy. Dean seated himself besides Sammy.

"Your wife knew" Missouri told John as she seated herself across from him in the large floral print chair.

"What do you mean…What did she know?" John asked

"She knew the evil that came into your house in fact she invited in" Missouri responded and John stood up quickly.

"That's crazy" John yelled "you did not know her she was…She loved the boys more than anything there is no way she would have invited such evil into our home especially with the children there"

Missouri shook her head "She invited him before the children had even been thought of John….Your wife Mary made a deal with evil…… and those types of deals never come without a price. In her case she paid with her life and the boys especially Sammy are still in danger because of the deal she made"

John just could not believe what this woman was saying but he knew that what he had seen that night was more than just a regular electrical fire. He had seen that with his own two eyes.

Something had come into his home and place Mary on the ceiling and that same something was now endangering the lives of the boys.

His family did not believe him, Mary's family did not believe him and the only person that did seem to believe him was saying that his Mary… His beautiful sweet Mary had caused all of this.

"So what should I do" John asked. He had tears in his eyes. This lady was saying that his sons were in danger and he could not lose them too especially after he had already lost Mary. He would rather die first.

"I don't know" Missouri admitted "but I have a friend Jim…Pastor Jim and he deals in these types of things…He will know what to do"

John nodded "I will do anything …whatever it takes"

"Even if it takes not ever seeing your family or Mary's family again?" Missouri asked.

John was lost for words he closed his eyes and thought over his options.

"Yes" he whispered as he reached over to pick up Sammy and while pulling Dean closer to him.i

i 


End file.
